He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
