You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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