Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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