She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
