I'm really into asian looking animals
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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