I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
