You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
