So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
