she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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