Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
