Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
