the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
