I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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