this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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