u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
