dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
