So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
