I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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