Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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