wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
