Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm at about main and main street
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
