i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
