Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
