so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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