you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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