rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
