Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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