You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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