I think im going to throw up on grandma
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
