his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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