just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
