So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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