she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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