? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
