this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
