did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
