If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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