Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
