If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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