So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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