just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
