Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
