In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
