Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The best revenge is premature balding
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
