so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
