do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
