found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
