Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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