Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
