wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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