omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
