Your face is a jimmy john
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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