U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
