It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
