if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
